Jamming

This image is a digital oil painting that I did.  I actually didn’t have a choice.  It was either paint the image or go all the way insane (I was already part way there).  What I mean by this is that this was how I saw him when he haunted me.  All the time.  Every day.  I couldn’t stop seeing it overlaid over everything.  And for the longest time, I didn’t want to stop seeing it.  But there were other people in my life.  They beckoned me to rejoin this world and carry on.  The deepest sorrow I have ever felt was the realization that I had to move on with the world as it did, and I had to leave my son behind to be just a memory.  It still makes me weak and shaken if I allow myself to think of it as I am while writing this.